January 19, 2010


Today has been one of “those days”. And I can’t put my finger on the reason. That is frustrating to me. I like to know why things happen. The morning was rushed and I had difficulty with my son. He is usually a rule follower but this morning he decided to be sassy. I am not sure if I were more disappointed in the fact that he leaned toward being disobedient or that his facial expression and “huffing” noise in response to my direction took me back to a nine year old Paula.

When I returned home from taking him to school I wept. I didn’t even know the reason. Again, not knowing why it was happening got the best of me. Perhaps, there are a multitude of reasons. Perhaps, just something I cannot explain.

I have been ready for the day to be over since it started yet I sit here sleepless with less than an hour of it left. Good and bad. Right and wrong. Life. It has been amazing to me what I take in and notice when I am not in a hurry. When I slow down long enough to think and feel….it is overwhelming. But it is doable. I go back to what I said in this very blog a little more than two months ago….and retract it….”I need to get busy doing”.

What a blessing this time away from “doing” has been. I have learned a great deal in the not doing and the just being.

I am back to basics. And I like it.

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