July 25, 2007

My Mom

Yesterday my mom went to the hospital with chest pains. Today she had a few procedures. It seems she has something similar to what my niece was first diagnosed with. What an exhausting and emotional 24 hours.

It seems we have been having a lot of these things happen lately. First my niece, then my sister-in-law in a really bad car accident. Now my mom.

I have stopped and thought about my life a lot lately. I love my family so much. I feel so blessed to have had the life I have lived and the friends and family I have. The journey sometimes feels long but it is such a short one, actually. Sometimes too short.

My dad was only alive 61 years. That is less than half of the time I have already been alive. Today I wonder....is there anything left unsaid? Anything left undone? Unaccomplished? With every breath I want the answer to be a resounding NO. I want to live life without regret.

Carp Diam.

July 22, 2007

Sick of Feedback.

I want to take a break from feedback today. I am sick of hearing so many people tell me how I should handle my affairs. I am certian they are concerned and feel that what they are telling me is in my best interest, yada, yada, yada. But today I am not in the mood. I want to remain open to significant people in my life but some of them are sick.

It reminds me of when I was pregnant and everyone thought they should tell me something about their pregnancy. Even better were the ones that gave me advice who had no children. Ha. I know I can learn something from everyone but it makes my blood boil when people think the only way you can make progress is by doing it their way.

Dr. Phil always says to look at a person's agenda when they offer you advice. I guess that is part of what I need to do.

Digging my heels in.

July 20, 2007

Friday, Friday, Friday!

Yippee. It is Friday. I am often off on Friday in the summertime; however, this week I am in CEU's. So, I even "work" tomorrow. Time away from my son. I don't like that part. Otherwise, the CEU's have been going well.

In one week I will be at the yearly family gathering at the camp we have been going to since before I was born. We get a great big cabin across from the pool and natural spring. You can see the mountains and river out the windows. I really enjoy it. All the kids love getting together and playing until they can't run anymore. The fresh air and family are just what I need right now. And one great thing about the location is that no cell phones work there. Oh, yeah!


July 16, 2007

Sick Baby

My little man is sick today. I have been up with him since 3:30 AM. I don't like how helpless I feel when he is sick and I can't make it any better. He usually just wants me close to him. That's how I still feel when I don't feel well. I just want my mom close by. I guess that never goes away.

Going back to cuddle my lil' guy.

July 11, 2007

Bad Day?

Phew! What a day. What a week. Car trouble, AC trouble, too much to do, too little time. I am ready for midnight so it can be over.


July 02, 2007

I can die happy!

Okay, it is official. I can die happy. I am presenting at a conference the last week of July/first week of August that has been a leading conference in the addictions field in Texas since I got in the field 15 years ago. But that isn't the "die happy" news. Claudia Black, Delbert Boone and Carlton Erikson are presenting at the same conference. Okay, now I am having an anxiety attack.


July 01, 2007

July 1 Already!

It is so hard to believe it is July. That sounds cliche, but it is true. The summer is flying by. My little pumpkin is with his grandmother right now. I saw him this weekend and he is having fun. They are busy doing "country stuff". He has gone to a peach orchard, helped make jelly, gotten veggies from the garden and is feeding the birds and squirrels. He assured me he loves me and misses me even though he is having fun with grandmother. He knows exactly what his mother needs!

I went to San Antonio again this weekend. This time I was keynote speaker for a drug court. It went well. The co-worker that went with me said I did well...but I didn't have that "out of the ballpark feeling" I sometimes get when I think I do well. I was a little nervous, which is very unusual. But, that is okay.

I like this time of the summer. I would like if it would stop raining long enough to have a swim once in a while. But, I know the bigger picture with rain in our part of the world. I know the more it rains the less likely we will have a drought and be in the triple digits for days on end.

Always reasons for the rain.