Tonight I attended the first of a series of bereavement recovery groups. One of the things I heard isthat everyone processes through loss differently and that may be part of the reason people do not know what to say to you after a loss. I have had the most difficulty dealing with people who tell me to “be strong”. I am not sure the reason I am so offended by that statement. Perhaps, because for me, it discounts my feelings of sadness as if being sad somehow relates to me being weak. In fact, it is completely the opposite for me. It is when I express my pure, raw, emotion that I feel most strength.
I am grateful I went tonight. I believe for a moment before I walked out the door tonight I considered not going. The one thing I learned in the many years of counseling and recovery is that others who are walking the journey beside you are of the most help. People who have been where you are and have felt what you have felt seem to be the most credible witness.
I feel so much strength from this…..and have such appreciation for this process.