October 11, 2010

Bye-Bye Diet Dr. Pepper!

Purification log, Day One:

The word purification may be too strong. I don’t believe I will be “pure” when this is over. Oh, how I wish. Maybe, nah, on second thought….I just want to be cleansed. I covet my jadedness. I don’t want this cleanse to take that from me! Sarcasm is a second language and I like being bilingual. Besides, people who know me may tell you it might take longer than a week to make me pure again!

I have been up and moving for more than two hours. And so far it has been going well (don’t make fun of the fact that I need to track my progress after only two hours, okay?). Upon waking I had more supplements, vitamins and minerals than I have taken since the third grade. I am sure of it. I had an antioxidant drink, an herbal cleansing formula, three glasses of water, a list of enzymes longer than my hand, a prebiotic (not to be confused with the probiotic that will come later in the day), a package of supplements containing, I kid you not: fennel seed, artichoke leaf, ginger root, licorice root, peppermint leaf, garlic bulb, clove bud, pomegranate, fructooligosaccharides (I think that was all one word), curcumin, and chamomile flower…and finally washed it all down with juiced carrots and beets. And don't poo poo the carrots and beets. I picked that on purpose. It is actually a great mixture!

Now I am supposed to have more…..let me see what is next. Oh, thank goodness. It is only tea. And I am choosing green tea this time. All non-caffeinated, of course, so if I die you will know it was from caffeine withdrawal. I read the book twice and I can’t find a Diet Dr. Pepper on this list of “yes’s”. Funny, I can’t find anything I typically consume in a day on that list. While that should tell me a thing or two about the path my consumption has taken I trick my mind into believing that at the end of this I will be writing a letter to this well acclaimed doctor to tell her she should consider adding Hershey’s syrup on day three!

I am feeling upbeat and confident, as the book suggested I would. However, in that ugly place in my brain I have that impending doom feeling related to knowing the book also said that enthusiasm might pass by day three when the "grouchy" should be expected. Great! And does the doctor wonder why I am already considering making this cyclical? Two days of happiness and enthusiasm…pizza and guilt….two days of happiness and enthusiasm…pizza!

I will be back to blog if I survive the morning.

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