September 14, 2009

It feels like he was an infant just yesterday but soon he will be turning 9. Internally I think I hope that he needs me a little more often than he pretends he does. Externally, I pat him on the back and send him on his way with all of my support and encouragement.

Tonight he was having trouble falling asleep so I lay with him in his bed. He told me some of his fears about when the lights go out. So I listened. I comforted and encouraged him. Inwardly, I was treasuring this moment. He tucked my arm around him so tightly that any movement I made would wake him. Each time I thought of getting up he would look at me as if to ask me to stay for a minute longer. The minutes are so short these days, I enjoyed staying.

As he lay sleeping I looked at him with many realizations. He is mine. He is like a miniature version of what I once was. He is innocent. As I once was. He is as moldable and impressionable, as I. Each morning I wake him with a cheerful call so he can start his day with a positive outlook. Each day I whisper words of support to him as he gets out the car at school in order to provide him with the idea that he can make it. Each day when I pick him up I ask him to tell me everything great that happened in order to help him find the good in all situations. And at night I tuck him in with prayers and a daily review in order to give him insight into personal inventory and hope for an even better tomorrow.

I feel so blessed that I have him. I feel so blessed that I have the ability to help him become strong – emotionally, spiritually and physically. And I ask for guidance from God and others I trust to help me guide him in the direction he is to go. I have such a short time to influence him. I have such a short time to keep him safe. But I am so grateful for every moment because I learn so much from him.


No comments: