While pumping gas today I was watching people. I experienced a myriad of emotion. I believe I see myself in people when I pay close enough attention. I see my past, present, my future and maybe those things that may never be. I see what I can be, what I could have been, what I once was and what I am becoming.
Some of those things bring great joy. How exciting the prospect, when looking to the future with knowledge and energy, that I have the ability to "become". Other thoughts bring a tinge of sadness. The sadness comes when looking at a few wasted years of youth. I am committed to a life without regret and I do fully understand that years are generally not wasted because they are, in fact, great learning experiences. At the same time I cringe a bit when I see the unappreciative adolescent who speed so fast through the years they fail to see the lessons. I believe I did that.
I also look with thanksgiving as I see those who seem to be blind to life. Those who continue to waste that time long after the lesson could have been learned. I assume it is not every one's cross to carry, as it seems mine, to strive for change and internal growth. Perhaps, I am among the minority but I long for moments when little fruits such as this come for me. A life of lessons, change and possibility. All learned while watching a few people while I stood at a gas pump. Today and the several days that have grown into years.
I really like the person I am.