The last two weeks have provided me with insight at lightening speed. About twelve years too late!
I had dinner with one of my old friends on Friday night. I went to her house to pick her up. When she walked out the door I jumped out of my car a quickly as I could to hug her. She was beautiful. She looked like she hadn't aged at all. But as we talked I realized we are both much older with wisdom than we were the last time we saw one another.
As I sat across from her I began realizing how many years I missed out on her life. I love her. She was a wonderful friend and I have so many memories with her. Friday was an opportunity for me to be a living amends to someone I really hurt and it was long overdue.
I had many enlightenment's while preparing for and in the midst of Friday. One of the things I had affirmed was that I cannot regret the past. Each experience I have had has aided in my becoming who I am. And I like who I am. Another thing I learned was that while I have run from my hometown for most of my life there is a great deal of value to being there again.
I have known before but know in a new way now that I have a lot to learn about what it means to be a friend. It is an area I still struggle with and want to continue to grow.
Finally, I was able to confirm that I have changed. The person I am today is merely a hint of who I was fifteen or sixteen years ago. Although, I have verbalized that I wish I could have learned the lessons I learned in my twenties in a two-day seminar instead of going through the pain of those years, I actually understand the need to go through the process.