March 30, 2009

Anger

I am angry right now. I feel justified in my anger. I have been taken advantage of. On top of that when I expressed my anger the response was a little similar to "look what I have done for you"! My unhealthy brain tells me to say, "screw it" and take off. My healthy brain tells me I have very good communication skills and I am a very strong woman. I know I can handle the situation diplomatically, calmly and in a healthy way. So I will.

Typically when I feel that kind of anger come up inside of me it is not because of what has been done to me but that I allowed it. My response is usually not that of a victim that believes something to be unfair because I do not like the idea that I do not have control over something.

So that is where I am now. Trying to decide what is just, what is my responsibility and what I do have control over. When I answer those questions I will take action. Until then I am going to sit with this feeling and work through it to a resolution.

Some days I wish I weren't healthy. Then I could just stick a pencil in someones ear and feel good about.

Ciao.

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