| Government Relations Update: Reps. Sullivan and Ryan to Co-Chair Congressional Addiction, Treatment and Recovery Caucus On January 24, Congressman John Sullivan (R-OK) and Congressman Tim Ryan (D-OH) announced they will serve as Co-Chairmen of the bipartisan Congressional Addiction, Treatment and Recovery Caucus in the 112th Congress. Additionally, Congresswoman Mary Bono Mack (R-CA) and Congressman Paul Tonko (D-NY ) have signed on to serve as vice co chairs of the caucus. The bipartisan Congressional Addiction, Treatment and Recovery Caucus was founded in 2004 by former Congressman Patrick Kenedy (D-RI) to serve as a groundbreaking forum to inform, educate and raise awareness about addiction and recovery and to increase legislative support for expanding access to care for people with addiction. Congressman John Sullivan offered the following statement: “I am proud to join my colleagues Reps. Ryan, Bono Mack and Tonko in announcing that we have officially registered the Congressional Addiction and Recovery Caucus for the 112th Congress. This is as important caucus to help put a public face on addiction issues facing our country. This caucus is especially important to Oklahoma as we have one of the highest rates of mental illness in America, with up to one-fourth of Oklahomans suffering from a mental health condition or addiction disorder. I look forward to working with my colleagues to raise awareness and advance public policies of importance to the addiction and mental health community.” Congressman Tim Ryan offered the following statement: “I look forward to working with my colleagues, especially John Sullivan, on this Caucus to advance legislation that’s mindful of a more rigorous system for not just treating addiction but also preventing it. In the most severe circumstances, history tells us that the way that these illnesses are treated and supervised must be reformed. I hope that the efforts of this Caucus will play a significant role in all aspects of the prevention, treatment and rehabilitation process.” |
I have been a Libra all of my life. All-of-my-life. Who is this telling me I now need to be a Virgo? It doesn’t even fit for me. I fully and wholly embrace the characteristics of Libra, even the “dark side”. I don’t want to be no stinkin’ Virgo. No offense to Virgos. Reasons I should remain Libra:
The symbol is a SCALE. If I don’t represent a scale, I don’t know who does. My emotions have been ruled by a scale since I was 9. There you go.
The positive side of Libra indicates that I am diplomatic and urbane . Romantic and charming . Easygoing and sociable. Idealistic and peaceable. Who doesn’t think I am urbane? And the dark side of Libra signifies I am indecisive and changeable. Gullible and easily influenced. Flirtatious and self-indulgent. I am. Maybe not. Yes, I am. See.
The Virgo, you might ask?
Well, the symbol is a VIRGIN. Okay, skip the comments.
The positive side of Virgo is Modest and shy . Meticulous and reliable . Practical and diligent . Intelligent and analytical. Shy? Modest? Practical? What? No.
And the dark side? Fussy and a worrier. Overcritical and harsh. Perfectionist and conservative. Okay, I am not conservative. Humph. I will accept a rising in Virgo or something, but I am not going to explain to the next single man I meet that I was born a Libra but became a Virgo in 2011. Does that require surgery, by the way?
See? Stubborn.
So, I let the cat (so to speak) out of the bag on Facebook Tuesday night. By midday Wednesday I had received five congratulations calls. There is a new relationship in my life.
Much to the dismay of many, I assume, as I am a frequent “pro-no relationship” kind of girl.This relationship wasn’t my idea. It was my son’s idea. He’s been wanting this to happen for years. I have moved from being adamantly opposed to being open. Together we began the search to find the perfect match several months ago.
My apprehension? Why bring another into my home? Disrupt my even flow? To be tied down?To feed another? To clean up mess? And put up with smell? Yes, you heard me right. I said smell.
But he came home with us on Saturday after we met. Yes, we moved him right in. And I fell in love. Yes, love.
We now go for walks. We cuddle on the sofa. And believe it or not, I have even found myself talking like a baby to him. I know. Me, talking like a baby!
I leave in the morning with a promise to return. And I can’t wait to walk in the door to see him.To giggle when he does something “cute”. And he does so many cute things.
I’ve not given into kisses at this point, it seems too early in the relationship. But I do cuddle.
So, I want everyone to meet him. His name is Max. And I think he is adorable!
I am babbling about him. And even looking for pet friendly hotels for our future. I cannot believe I have a pet. This is my first. And I am completely head over heels for the little guy.
Amazingly, this is a real commitment!
There are times I can’t let it go.
Why?
A question that won’t be answered.
At least not in this lifetime.
But I find myself asking anyway.
Why?
What were you thinking, feeling?
Why?
Why that day?
Why that choice?
Why was the thing you were thinking, feeling enough that night?
Did you know how many people would cry?
Or was it just too much to think about?
Why?
I miss you.
So do so many others.
And many cannot stop wondering why.
All of the days on the advent calendar have been pulled, the gifts have been exchanged, goodies baked and eaten, decorations put away, carols and auld lang syne have been sung. Now it is time to look at the year….And the decade. A lot can happen in a decade!
2000: I had been happily married for a little over a year and living a nearly fairy tale life in Germany. We spent Valentine’s Day in Paris and all was good in the world. In 2000 I visited the Czech Republic, Italy, France, Switzerland, Austria, Poland, The Netherlands, England, and Lichtenstein. In May I found out we were going to have a baby. In October I was excited to have a visit from my mom and both sisters. And I met a lot of great people from all over the world. I also began graduate school. 2000 was the first Christmas I did not spend with my family in Texas because our not so little bundle of joy was expected at anytime during the holidays.
What has changed in your life in the last decade?
Ten years......
I was given two books today one called Misery the other More Misery, written by Suzanne Heller (no relation). The gifter said he read them as a boy. I read through both of them and began to chuckle, realizing that while these books were made for kids, they have such meaning for adults, as well.
Some of the things noted as what misery is, obviously in the eyes of a child, are indeed miserable:
- When you’re playing “Giant Steps” and you forget to say, “May I?”
- When you’re not old enough to play with the big kids and too old to play with the little kids.
- When you have soft bread and hard butter.
- When you’re thirteen and don’t need a bra.
- When you have to go to the ladies room and you’re a boy.
- When you’ve been promised a dog for Christmas and you get a canary named Fido.
- When you’re riding in the car and everyone smells dog doody and you discover it’s on your shoes.
- When you have a new box of crayons and you have to share it with your friend who presses too hard.
Both books had me smiling. So true, these things are miserable at the time they happen. But it also had me thinking about the past. How many times have I thought something was miserable, even unbearable, at the time that I don’t think much about now? How much time have I spent worried and glum about something that seems very small now? I would like to worry less about simple things and enjoy living a little more.
How much time do you?
I met her in 2001 right after I returned from Germany. A mutual friend introduced us with a simple nod of the head and a quick phrase, “you two need to know each other”. And we did.
I learned a great deal from her over the short nine years I knew her. In the counseling field she was brilliant. She knew her stuff. She was a great teacher. She was very confident about the material she presented. And she cared.
When I sold my counseling center she asked if she could take it over. It felt right letting her because I knew there was a difference in selling it to a large company than to a person who was working in the field everyday.
She wasn’t my best friend. And frankly, there were times we didn’t see eye to eye. I think we were both similar in speaking our minds more often than was good for us. But we had respect for one another. And I considered her a friend as well as a colleague. She helped me through some challenging times. She would lend an ear and words of advice and encouragement when I asked….and sometimes when I didn’t.
When I received the news that she was gone I was shocked. That was only 48 hours ago and I think I still am. I am very sad. Losing her is a loss to the field and to the world. I have gone to her Facebook page a dozen times since and read the beautiful messages left by so many who loved her. I wonder if she knew? I wonder if she had any idea how many people would miss her? How many people she helped throughout her sobriety and her career? And I wonder if that would have made a difference to her? If she had known would she have made the same decisions?
I have talked out loud about it with others. I have had many people tell me they can’t understand why she decided she couldn’t bear the pain long enough to get to the other side. Sadly, I completely understand. In the last year of my life I have understood that more than I ever openly admitted. I get it. Sometimes it is too much. Sometimes it feels that it will never end. I have walked in that valley of hopelessness believing there was no end.
I think of that similarity between us. Typically smiling and telling everyone things were “a little crazy” but “I will be just fine”. Inside desperately wishing to reach out but fearing the rejection from those who judge. I am not sure if that is a trait of those in the counseling field or just a characteristic some of us carry, but either way, this might be a wake up call.
The counseling field is tight knit. It seems everyone knows everyone and knows what everyone does. And we work so hard to help clients overcome their deficits that an outsider might imagine we allow other counselors and ourselves the same. But, it doesn’t always feel that way. It seems we hold ourselves to a higher standard. Even in the greatest depression I experienced I asked only a handful of other professionals for help and I asked most often as if it was for another person.
I wonder if she was afraid of asking for help? For being vulnerable or being judged? How sad, if so. How incredibly disheartening the thought that we don’t love our fellow helping professional enough to allow them to express the same things we encourage clients. That we don’t allow them time to be sad, to breakdown, to be weak a moment, to ask for help.
What a great loss. What a great sadness. What questions left that may never be answered. I pray she has found peace. I pray that her spirit is full. I pray that her family, her friends, and the entire counseling community are comforted and find value in having been part of her journey.
Rest in peace, my friend.
As the year winds down I typically find myself reflecting. It is an annual event that I recap my year. This is characteristically an event of self-evaluation. It is my litmus test for productivity and growth, if you will.
In December 2009 I was spending each weekend and my son’s holiday vacation at my mom’s house with her death still fresh in my heart. The process of sorting and packing fell to me. For one reason, I had the time. For another, I needed that process. Each of my siblings posses different strengths. Mine seems to be in emotion. I recall those days and think of how dark they were. It seems it was then I felt the most alone in my life. I even recollect writing about the process of losing “home”.
Between her death and through most of the winter I spent time on the couch. I sat on my couch at home and the one in my therapists’ office (metaphorically speaking, of course, he actually has chairs!). The depth of my sadness was brutal. It stole my breath, nearly my life.
As dark as some of my writing was at that time, it was edited in order to be published. It wasn’t out of shame as much as my desire for it to be palatable for those who read. I didn’t want anyone aware of how hopeless I felt for fear others would be ready for me to “get over it”. But not now, as I am getting to the other side of it now and I feel I have a story to tell. Maybe not all of it today, maybe just in bits and pieces….I am going to tell the story. Outloud.
One of the things I kept reminding myself during those bleaker days last year was if I allowed myself to be sad, hurt, lonely, angry, and anything else that came up, I would grow and learn. And one day I would be where I am today…..a little better but always changed. With a great deal of work to still be done I am grateful at the same time.
I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I have hope for the New Year and look forward…..which is more than I can say for last December.
Onward, again.
Most people who know me, even a little, know I love to go and it really doesn’t matter where the destination. I do enjoy quiet peaceful days at home, as well. But, there is so much excitement for me in travel. Airlines and hotels know of my travel bug for they shower my inbox with “specials” multiple times a week.
We just spent about 24 hours in Glen Rose, Texas. Our plans were cut short when my Sonshine woke up with a fever and something that is looking like the flu. But before this we had a chance to do some hiking, looking, playing and lots of picture taking!!!
Here are a few shots.....
One of my favorite events prior to Christmas is taking photos for Christmas cards. We did that this evening. Of the many, many, many taken only a few are useable. But the process was fun.The older my son gets the more fun he is to be around. The sense of humor he has developed is as if he channels my dad. He is entertaining, joyful and insightful. I couldn’t have asked for a better memory than our 2010 Christmas photo attempt!
And here are some of the results!
