Total Loss

My car was a total loss. My dream car, I might add. I wanted a white one since they started making them in 1994. Total loss.

Last week when I found out I sat about looking for a new one. When I decided that none would meet my needs I decided I would drive a hooptie and life would go on.

As soon as I decided that I could live without a car, I found a new car. It was exactly the price I wanted to pay (okay, that isn't true because it wasn't free). It was the color I wanted and it gets great gas mileage. I feel like I am saving the environment; although, there have already been comments about it looking like a wind up toy. :)

And the dealer said the words I longed to hear.....warranty. Ahhhh.

P.S. Go Spurs Go, Beat the Mavs.

Sports Update

This Saturday is the last game of soccer for the season for my son. He has enjoyed this year and done better with each game. He had a great coach and really liked his team. This weekend we are going to check out a new facility for indoor sports in our area. Gymnastics and karate have been recommended for coordination and agility. We will see.

On the pro basketball front the Spurs are looking good. And my tickets to the Mavs vs. Spurs game are secure for one week from today. Look out Mavs fans....I am on my way. My friend, Tammye is going to the game with me. She likes the Mavs. We already have an agreement that we are going to represent our teams. I wonder if this means face painting?

Photos to come!

Reconnecting

The past year has been a reconnecting for me. I have grown closer to my oldest sister than I ever have been before. I have gotten in touch with an old friend from high school, I have been emailing with a family member. Sometimes in my struggle to move forward I need to stop and remember the past.

Most of the connections have been as a result of some kind of painful event, really. A reaching out on one of our parts. Today I am grateful that I have people to reach out to and even more grateful that people think of me as a person to reach for.

I have so much gratitude today. So much more than I ever have before in my life. It is good to feel so much positive when there is so much negative going on around me.

The cup is half full.

Big God/Little Me

This is not new information. It isn't even new to me; but, just this week I have been reminded of how big God is. I have been in a situation that I could not imagine working my way out of. I had pulled out all the stops. I had plumbed the depths of my soul looking for answers and I was empty. I was out of ideas and out of the drive to move forward when out of no where....a miracle.

A miracle I would have never even thought of myself. The phone rang and I was presented an opportunity that I never would have dreamed up on my own. This isn't out of the box thinking....but out of the universe thinking. God has those ideas and I am a believer that they can be brought into my world just when the time is right if I am open to them.

The time is right.

The Good, The Bad, The Party!

Whew. It is over!

What an eventful few days. I have a little bit of unsolicited advice...never speak the words, "what else can happen next?" because you might find out!

Thursday morning while driving my son to school I had a traffic accident. I haven't done that since high school. I hit someone from behind; therefore, it is was my fault. I don't like the word fault. It causes me to begin making excuses and I turn blue because I feel oxygen deprived. Everyone was okay, though. My sweet child is so easy going and so understanding. After the shock of the accident was over he just said, "well, I guess I am going to be tardy"! I have had a lot of stiffness and headaches but otherwise, we are great.

Then the weekend came along. This was the "BIG WEEKEND" my family has been planning for months. It was my oldest sisters 50th birthday and we had a surprise party for her. Wow...have I wanted to talk about it! It has been so much fun planning and executing. My part wasn't that hard, really...but being very fearful of slipping up was difficult. But it went off without a hitch.

Friday my son and I went to my mom's house. My sister's were already there. We met my sister-in-law for some undercover operation then had lunch with my sisters and mom. Then we all headed to my nephews football game. He is a senior and an incredible player. His team won....still undefeated. I haven't been to a high school football game in years and I LOVED IT.

Saturday when the "operation" went into high gear my job was to entertain sis all day. She is the black belt shopper and we had so much fun. Since part of the little lie was getting her back to Texas by telling her I was accepting an award (for being an incredible woman, of course) on Sunday she wanted to treat me to a shopping spree so I would have plenty of outfits to pick from on Sunday. I loved them all....she bought them....I felt bittersweet knowing that I loved the clothes but had no award to accept on Sunday. Ouch.

When it finally came time to drive her to the party I was a little nervous. When we arrived I knew we had pulled it off (or that she is in the right place up in those Hollywood Hills because she is the best actress around!). She was so surprised....and even more surprised to find out that we were sending her to Italy to fulfill her dream of going back there on her 50th birthday.

So many people that I don't see often enough were at the party. Unfortunately, that setting isn't a great place to have a lot of detailed conversations so I didn't get to say as much or engage as much as I would have liked to...but I enjoyed seeing them, none the less.

And I finally met the famous Demitri. He works with the USA Olympic Luge Team. The company my sister owns is one of their sponsors so she has been fortunate enough to know him a while. He was incredible. He could run a country! I know I will be seeing him again in the future....at a world cup or at the olympics...I don't know where but he is a keeper!

I love my family. They are unique. They are wonderful.

Happy 50th, Sis.

Passion

What causes someone to misplace their passion? I hear so many people in the helping profession talk about burning out. I hear people use words like "hate" and "sick and tired" when describing their job.

It has become my passion to help people who burn out and help others keep from burning out. I remember the first time I knew I wanted to be in the counseling field. I was in second grade (no kidding)...but am very aware that I was prepared for it much earlier. I don't know of a time in my life that I haven't experienced a great need for introspection.

I love this work. I cannot imagine doing anything else. Do I get tired? Do I feel overwhelmed? Do I find some days full of more work than hours? Yes, yes, yes.

But I hope to never lose this passion for helping others. I think the chance to get to do this work is so worthwhile.

There is a great meditation I found more than ten years ago in a meditation book put out by a treatment center that is no longer around that I keep taped to my desk....

"I need to remember that my ability to counsel others is God's gift to me. Others are helped, but it must also be essentially my blessing. I am in a privileged position -- to see a spark of hope, a breakthrough in denial, some real tough honesty. Recovery. It is truly my blessing. Today I ask to be worthy of my gift."

On Fire, Not burning out.

Contentment

What a weekend! My son's soccer game was great. He is learning a lot of new skills. Then we did a few chores and then went to our favorite book store. He had his very first visit with an author and a signed book. He has read it and had me read it to him many times since then.

I got an old book by Mo'Nique called, Skinny Women Are Evil. I read a couple of chapters but it is more like stand up comedy than anything that interests me. I also got the new Kelly Clarkson CD. That I like a lot.

Then off to Six Flags we went for Fright Fest. We rode a few roller coasters and ran around a lot. My boy is a fabulous kiddo. No matter what we do we have fun together.

I had a conversation with a very wise friend this morning. He told me about contentment being "an inside job". I have been milling that over since. Our discussion also involved another thought that I had not had before.....contentment and happiness aren't the same. Hmmmm.

Much to think about on a rainy Monday.

Working Out!

Well, I am back at it. I am working out again. This is very exciting to me. I love to do it but find as many excuses as possible to avoid it. It makes me feel so good!! I got my gear together and am back with an ipod in my ear and my mind on nothing for an hour.....I have a little trouble walking right now because I am only two days into the routine....but I know the possibilities that lie ahead and look forward to them with great anticipation.

Sweatin' to Ozzy.

Weekend in LA

I am back from a three day weekend in Los Angeles. Wow, it was quick. On Thursday my sis and I decided that I would fly out there with my son and spend the weekend with her. We had lots of fun. What a great birthday gift!

We spent time on the beach, in Hollywood, at La Brea Tar Pits....and shopping...shopping...shopping. My sister has a black belt in shopping. We had a lot of fun.

The time there reminded me of why I have always wanted to live there. Now the bug is in my son to get back there again soon. He loves the beach as much as I do. He is a natural in the water. I still attribute that to my sitting in the ocean in Italy when I was pregnant and too huge to move. He loved it then, too.

And when we touched down in Dallas I was back to my life....back to my reality.

I wish they all could be California days....

October

October 1. This is fall, right? A little warm here still...but the colors in the mall are changing! :) I am ready to plant some mums and get some pumpkins. I asked my son what he wanted to dress up as on Halloween and he wants to be a skeleton this year. That sounds like fun.

This weekend I attended a banquet for the local chapter of TAAP (Texas Association of Addiction Professionals). September was recovery month. It was fun. I haven't danced in a while. Now my time and and attention professionally can be focused on the January NOVA conference.

At the end of the week I will have a birthday. I seem to get contemplative when approaching a birthday. All in all it has been a great year. There have been enormous mountains to climb and I don't always like that part. But I can see the lessons I have learned. I guess that is what life is all about.

Happy Fall.

Monday, Monday

Oh, what a great weekend.....we stayed in town! I miss that. And my home computer is broken so I did absolutely nothing related to work or conference planning.

Friday I saw a play at a local theatre.....The effect of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds. It was pretty good for a small, local theatre.

Saturday we had soccer. It was really hot out but the team did better than last weekend. My boy is getting some of the skills down. He can really kick it....and is working on his stopping and dribbling skills right now.

Saturday evening we hung out and watched some movies.....I even took a nap and cooked several times! Wow. My boy and I did one of our favorite things-- we went looking at new homes being built near our house. We have so much fun doing that.

And Sunday it was still warm enough that he was able to swim while I did some yard work.

This morning he told me he thinks he is old enough to go to Hawaii now. For several years he has wanted to go but I have always told him how long the flight is. This morning he told me it was time to start planning a trip! I love that little guy.

Relaxed.

News From DC

This is the email I received from our DC voices!

Dear Recovery Advocates,

Thank you to everyone who called--or tried to call--Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi yesterday for National Parity Call-in Day. The event was a huge success, so much so that its organizers had to hire additional operators and eventually shut down the lines early. I apologize to everyone who tried to call in but was not able to get through because of the volume. In total, over 1,000 people spoke with Speaker Pelosi's staff, passing along the message that Americans are ready for HR 1424 now.

Yesterday was historic not only for the overwhelming success of Call-in Day, but also because the Senate passed its version of the parity bill, S.558 , the Mental Health Parity Act. This will put even more pressure on Speaker Pelosi to bring HR 1424 before the House of Representatives for a vote. Once both the Senate and House pass their bills, they must compromise on any differences between the two versions, and only then the bills can become law.

The Health Subcommittee of the House of Representatives' Committee on Ways and Means will be "marking up" (offering amendments) to HR 1424 this morning. This will bring HR 1424 one step closer to passing in the House.
These are exciting times! Your advocacy and support make successes like these possible.

All the best,

Website

I have had some articles from my book published in the Recovery Today newspaper. Take a look at them at www.recoverytoday.net. It is a great newspaper.

More NBA

I realize two posts in a row about the NBA proves my problem. But, again, I am not going to change it! :)

I get to go to LA in December to watch the Spurs play. I am so excited about that. My sister lives out there and I have been wanting to get out to see her anyway. This is perfect. My sis, the beach and the Spurs? Kill me now.

Burning for Basketball!

Sports

I can smell the NBA season. One month until some pre-season action begins. My name is Paula and I am addicted to basketball. But I will live with that today. Right now I am counting down the days to the pre-season SPURS whipping up on the Mavs game here in Dallas in October. My seat is secured but I don't know if I will make it out of the arena....I plan to go in full Spurs gear. Hee hee.

My son started soccer practice and has his first game this week. He loves soccer. I love watching him but sometimes my competetive nature comes up....and that is in conflict with my nurturing mother side.

You should live in this head.